The Gate
by I'm Retired
Summary: Hei and Yin are reunited once again, but Yin's still stuck in a comatose state. Will Hei be able to cope with the emotions that begin to overwhelm him as he loses hope, or will Yin prove him wrong and revive the Hei she once knew and loved?
1. Chapter 1

Hei swayed side to side as he carried an unconscious Yin. He didn't know where he was going, or how much longer he could go on like this. But the feel of Yin in his arms once again kept him going for miles. He walked for hours before finding an abandoned warehouse to take shelter in.

He rested her comatose body on some empty crates. He stripped himself of trench coat and wrapped it around her nude form in attempt to keep out the cold. He wished he could do better for her. He'd waited so long for the moment they'd reunite. She was the only reason he'd started fighting for the CIA, even though they were supposed to be running away from organizations like the Syndicate in the first place. He was willing to get entangled back into the world of people who supported the suppression of contractors and dolls. If only to find his way back to her.

And he did it. He reclaimed his powers and freed her from Izanami's tight suffocating grasp on her soul. They were together at last. He wanted to take her someplace decent, special even! She never asked for much, but he needed to let her know how much he'd needed her the past two years. Just the thought of her waking up in a run-down mold and insect infested place like this made him sick with shame.

He wanted to take her to a hotel, or a motel, or anywhere but here! But he was far too exhausted to go any further. Besides, he needed to get Yin out of the cold.

Hei let himself crumble to ground and leaned on the crates Yin lied on. Seeing her, he felt all the exhaustion of the past two years bestowed upon him. Ever since Izanami awakened and Yin was forced to bid Hei farewell, he went a great distance to avoid feeling anything. She was the one who showed him he could. She proved it through her own example, through her silent support, and through her feelings for him. She helped him gain what he'd lost ever since he became a contractor. But the moment he was without her, he felt a despair so great that he longed to feel nothing. Even with her gone he couldn't forget the mark she left on his soul. The cursed feelings remained with him, and he longed for a way to suppress his feelings. To vanquish the constant cycle of unbearable pain that came with his life.

He wanted to forget everything. To push it back to the deep recesses of his mind. He wanted to forget her, forget the way she made him feel. That's why he turned to the bottle. That's why he let himself get lost in a sea of alcoholism. It was the only thing that numbed him enough to just exist without the constant pressure of his failure, of his loneliness.

But at the same time, he didn't. His time with her was too precious. The moments he shared with her were too important to him. He still cherished them. She was still apart of him, and no matter how much he hurt, he'd never want to let that part of him go. He had still longed for her, and he was still willing to fight -once he discovered there was a chance.

He felt conflicted. A feeling thoroughly familiar to him. Ever since the fake stars appeared in the sky and sister became a contractor there was constant conflict within his soul. He wavered between whether the contractors -no people he and Bai killed truly deserved it. Whether there was any of the loving girl he cared for left in his sister, and if he should kill the monster she'd become by ending her life. He pondered if his soul wanted to walk the path of the Black Reaper, the cold blooded killer and slave to the Syndicate, or the path of Li Shengshun, the shy fun-loving student trying to better himself and the world around him.

Though he found many answers after years of suffering, he still found himself face to face with clashing ideals, and he was tired of feeling conflicted. So what better way to silence the raging thoughts than to get plastered and make sure you stay that way? Soon enough the only thing left was his anger. Which was surprisingly a feeling more comfortable to him. It's also been with him almost all his life. The underlying resentment toward his sister's emotional neglect after everything he'd sacrificed for her had fueled it's start. As did Amber's betrayal since she'd been such a big part in his life at the time. Even though he'd let the Syndicate convince him that he was emotionless, there was still a hint of anger constantly surveying his essence.

He didn't mind being angry though. It kept him strong, kept him alive. His defenses were always up, physically and emotionally. If no one got in, they wouldn't see how torn apart and vulnerable he was. Whenever he got drunk, all his other emotions fell away and the anger was the only thing left behind. Nothingness and anger was the only combination he could get behind.

But he didn't need to rely on that anymore. He didn't need to avoid the feelings that had become such a big part of his life again. And now that he had a moment alone with her, a moment of reprieve, he felt everything he'd repressed the past two years. Every emotion he'd locked away burst forth with an amplified vengeance.

He felt the shivering chill of the sorrow he avoided once it completely registered that she was gone. The soul draining dread and bitter loneliness that he'd pushed down arose hand in hand. Regret and shame toward his alcoholism and blind aggressiveness reared it's ugly head. Yet, he could faintly sense the hope he wanted to feel once discovered he had a chance of saving Yin, and every encounter since.

With every sentiment flooding his senses, he began to shake, his shoulders rocking up and down violently. His face became distorted in pain and his heart began to pound. He wanted to cry, he shut his eyes tightly and tried to push the tears out. But he just couldn't. He wanted to let everything out, to let everything wash away with his tears but they were locked somewhere deep within his psyche. He tried to cry out but all that emerged was something similar to a small choking sound.

It was overwhelming, and the flood of emotions came forth so suddenly that Hei was almost scared. It's been so long since he'd felt anything, even with Yin, things didn't happen all at once. He reached out and grasped her hand lightly. She was still so cold, too cold for his liking. But as he grasped her a bit tighter, he could almost feel the tingling warmth beneath her flesh longing to be ignited. He slid his index and middle finger up to her wrist to feel her slow pulse. Just it being there was enough, and he felt himself calm down.

Soon enough he found himself asleep.

* * *

In the morning, Hei felt better than he'd been in a long, long time. It was as if merely being beside her was enough to completely rejuvenate him. Of course he'd have to give some credit to the hard cold ground and the poorly insulated walls that seemed completely disinterested in keeping the harsh winds out.

He gathered Yin in his arms once again and set out to find some proper shelter, somewhere in the city. As he soon he exited the gate, he began to notice all the stares he'd been receiving. Finally he realized that he was carrying a limp, near-death-looking girl in his arms with the stoney look he always wore.

So he slid her onto his back to appear as if she'd just gotten tired so he decided to give her a piggyback ride. Throwing in a few Li smiles could hurt either, right?

At last they made it to a hotel. Hei felt much less self conscious about her waking up here. Normally he was willing to settle for something far below average, being able to rely on her understanding and support, but he wanted to show her how much he cared for her. He wanted to give her something she deserved. This was going to be their long awaited reunion, he wanted things to be decent for her. Though he was far from a perfectionist, in fact it felt odd being so stressed about things falling into place. He knew she was going to need a good roof over her head if she was going to recover.

He remembered the last thing she said to him during Izanami's awakening, before he lost her: _"I will always love you Hei."_ He didn't respond, how could he? Of course he'd loved her too, but he wanted to wait before telling her. He was looking for a moment of peace, just a few solitary seconds of reprieve. But though the Syndicate was slowly deteriorating, they still managed to have a contractor around every corner. The pair couldn't catch a break! Even when they _were_ safe Hei still remained paranoid, even going as far as to ignore Yin's reassurance despite his trust of her.

Soon enough the peace was disrupted, and they were once again thrust into chaos. The next thing he knew she was telling him she loved him. He wanted to be excited, to be warmed and moved by her confession, but he couldn't let himself get all worked up yet. She was saying goodbye, and he wasn't ready to let go. He didn't want to tell her then, he still had the hope of saving her. Saying it back would only mean that he accepted her fate, and he didn't.

For a long time he thought he'd lost his chance. Maybe he should have just gotten it off his chest and moved on. But now that she was here, he could start over. He could give this one more try.


	2. Chapter 2

Yin felt light. She couldn't tell where she was, but she could vaguely sense movement from time to time. She was no longer in the field of untainted white flowers, nor in the real world to which she nearly remembered her brief encounter with. She was forced to remain dormant as Izanami exacted her wrath upon the innocent people of the world. She stood back as Izanami reaped souls from distances of near and far.

She briefly recognized July as he collapsed, she wondered why he wasn't with April. Then she spotted him- _Hei._ She remembered relief washing over her, finally this destruction could end. She would no longer have to bear the burden of this genocide. She wondered if this was what Hei felt when he killed. If he too, carried some part of the souls he'd taken. If he too, sometimes didn't know who he was killing. If he struggled against the black reaper like she did with Izanami.

She couldn't let this continue. She knew what Izanami wanted, and she wouldn't be apart of this world's undoing. She didn't care if it meant sacrificing herself save everyone else.

As her eyes met Hei's glare directed toward Izanami Yin felt the strength to appear as herself. The patterns on her skin were identical to Izanami's but the contrasting bright white color distinguished them from one another. Hei's gaze softened as he looked to Yin. Yin could see the searing emotions throbbing to be released behind his eyes and she was glad she could see him one last time before this was all over.

"It's not too late," She informed him, trying to keep as much control as possible. "Kill me."

He smiled at her, she couldn't tell if it was a smile of defeat and resignation, or if the thought of having to kill her was so unfathomable that he could help but smile at the ridiculous idea. But she was sure it was the former, she'd had a lot of time to think of some way out of this and every possible conclusion lead to her death. Her awakening had come too far along. If they'd blended together to point where Izanami was within her subconscious then there's no way to get rid of her without taking Yin out too.

But as she looked at Hei, she almost felt like herself again, like there was nothing to burden her. Izanami was at the back of her mind, but it was almost like a soft whisper. It was only for a moment, but Yin noticed a small distance between them, and so did Hei.

Suddenly, she was engulfed by bright light similar to the one Hei emitted when he stopped the weapon designed to destroy the gate before they'd gone on the run together.

Then, all black.

She wondered if this was what death was going to be like the entire time. If everyone had to float alone in a desolate abyss. Or maybe this was her punishment for all the people she'd killed. But if she was dead, then what were all these sounds and feelings surrounding her? She could hear someone's heavy breathing and she could almost feel her body pressed up against something. Then she could hear-...city noises maybe? She often heard a muffled conversation at some point in time. She wished she could make some sense of time in her state, but she supposed it didn't matter now.

But she kept hearing the same muffled voice speak with no response. Sometimes she couldn't tell if they were talking or just making noise.

Eventually she became more aware of her surroundings. Sometimes she could make out words from the nonsensical ramblings. The voice seemed so familiar. The way their hand grasped hers, and the feel of their fingers in her hair, or even how they brushed the back of their hand across the palate of her skin, though she could barely sense all of this, it was still with her, and she'd felt it all before. It was as if it were apart of some distant memory that she was on the cusp of remembering. She feared that if she tried too hard to recall, she'd break the fragile tether that kept them bound.

* * *

He knew she could feel him. He could sense something stirring within her. There was a connection whenever he touched her, and if he could feel the spark then he knew she can too. The warmth of life was returning to her, and he could feel her coming back to herself. He could always feel when something about her changed. He'd grown to love and appreciate her enough to take notice of all her transformations. Like a dedicated photographer looking out for the shifting seasons, he was ready for each and every metamorphosis.

Still, he was growing impatient. He wanted to see her beautiful magenta eyes. He wanted to watch them light up with the life he came to love. He longed to hear his name spill from her lips in a breathy gasp. He wanted to feel her hands on him.

He was running low on hope, which is something he never really had in full supply. But when he looked at her, when he took the time to embrace her steadying heartbeat and soft breathing... he knew she was trying. There was something about those moments that prevented the flame within her, the flame between _them_ from flickering out.

* * *

It was _him_. Hei was there with her the entire time. It was his voice talking to her, begging her to come back to him. Those were his hands running along her skin, sparking the fire that would soon burn her awake. How could she have forgotten the voice that had once brought life back to her when she was nothing but a doll? The voice accepted her as an equal when everyone else saw her as disposable?

From then on, this little piece of information was all she needed to get better. Each day she felt his encouragement inspire her even more than the last. Even after all this time she still wasn't used to feeling motivated. She wanted to drink it all in. He was all she needed, all she had for support.

Awareness grew and spread throughout her body. She could feel the sunlight against her skin and she could tell when the glare of the stars began to illuminate the room. With his hand on her heart she felt secure. She was alive. He saved her. It was against all reason, but he did it.

Her nerves began to tingle with life as the fire within her started to blossom and spread. She could feel herself again, if she had the strength, she would jump up and reach out to Hei, same way he's done for her. But for time being, she just focused on getting her eyelids to slide open.

She wanted to talk to him, even if she couldn't open her eyes and reassure him with her consciousness alone. She wanted to tell him that she was almost there, that she was trying and she wasn't gone yet. Yin could feel his hopelessness growing at times. Sometimes his touch was filled with desperation. She could feel how badly he ached for a sign, a way to pull her back from the void she was entrapped in.

Eventually the day came. She thought maybe she'd found the strength to push out the words that were trapped in her throat. She felt her eyelids twitch and flicker throughout her internal struggle against this seemingly eternal sleep. She could feel the stars' light warming her skin, and she almost thought she had felt the divine purity of the moon's glow.

Just as his touch was leaving her for the night, just as he bid goodnight to someone who was as good as a phantom in this state, they opened. It was just a crack, but it was all she needed to blow the dam that had been keeping her locked in. Her lips opened and closed repeatedly. God her throat was killing her! But she needed him near her, she needed him to know what his support had done for her.

"Hu..hugn..." Yin moaned quietly. "-ei..."

"H-Ha...H..." She tried again. Why couldn't he hear her? If only her words weren't so slippery. But she couldn't give up yet, she'd only just begun! He was pulling away, but she couldn't let him go.

"H...ei," She still wasn't reaching him, all she needed was a final push. Then suddenly, she felt it. Every touch, every pleading whisper, every kiss upon her cheeks and forehead. She thought back to the time before this, when Izanami was still with her. She remembered everything she'd seen through her specter. How broken and aggressive he was, how dependant he was on alcohol. He was even more of a shell than he was when Syndicate had them act as mindless drones. She knew that if she didn't wake up soon, he would go back to being that empty carcass. No, she couldn't leave him lonely, she'd made that promise too. It all rushed through her at once, spurring on the fire that licked at her from the inside.

Her energy radiated through the room. Her intense desire to reach him, to rekindle his hope, practically shook the place.

 _"Hei,"_


	3. Chapter 3

"Hu..hugn..."

He heard it. A small grunt, a moan of sorts. He was so sure it was her but, it couldn't be. He must be hearing things, this wasn't the first time his desperation made him delusional.

"-ei..." Hei hesitated before crawling into bed. It wasn't real, he couldn't get his hopes up, not this high, not this early. _'Don't do this yourself Hei,'_ He thought to himself. _'She needs her rest, and so do you. You're just...I'm just tired...'_

He couldn't let himself get his hopes up. Whenever he wanted something too much it was always ripped away from him. Be it the ability to remain with his sister and protect her, or simply finding someone he can trust. Even wanting companionship throughout the desolate wasteland that he was forced to cope with was out of the question. He began to wonder if it was all just his fault somehow. Maybe there was some God of mercy out there somewhere that found his hopes pathetic and his blind determination disgusting.

So this time he decided he wasn't going to screw this up in any way. Even in areas as trivial as hoping too hard. Still, somewhere locked deep within the confines of his mind, he secretly prayed that she'd wake up each day. He awoke with that thought in mind every day since the moment he'd rescued her. He was surprised he still had room in his heart to desire something with such strength. But she had brought this out of him, and he knew well enough that she was full of surprises.

"H-Ha...H..." Her gasps passed his ears. "H...ei," He was too immersed in his thoughts, in his denial.

Then it happened. There was a powerful shift in the room, one that Hei simply couldn't ignore. _"Hei,"_ It was her. That was her voice, loud and proud. She was calling him, she was _alive_. Everything about her beckoned to him, and there was nothing he could do but comply.

He tried to stop himself but he couldn't help but tremble as he turned to her.

There she was, her beautiful magenta eyes searched the room for him, her delicate fingers twitched and stretched to reach him. She tried to pronounce his name again but all that came was a choke-like cough. He didn't need to hear her say it again though, she'd reached him, she'd touched him the way only she knew how.

"Yin!" He cried. Hei was at her side in an instant. He grasped her hand and as he felt it against his, he realized that something's changed. Her skin seemed to vibrate with life, it was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. Yet it still wasn't completely foreign to him. Though her eyes were clouded with fatigue despite just waking up with that surge of energy, to him they seemed to glow with light. Her hair appeared to gleam with the radiance of the real stars he'd adored so much as a child. He was completely in awe of everything about her.

He felt the flood of emotions rip through him and make their way to the surface again. The overwhelming sensations racked his body once again as he felt himself begin to shake beneath her. There were so many things he wanted to tell her. He wanted her to know how badly he needed her, what a mess he is without her. He wanted to beg for forgiveness for his failure at protecting her, at staying by her side. He wanted to plead for her to stay by him, for this to be real.

But he couldn't get the words out. His thoughts and feelings rushed mingled together so erratically that it made it almost impossible to think. He'd never felt so out of control before, it almost made him squirm.

Luckily for him, Yin sensed his struggle. She squeezed his hand back and muttered a soft, "It's okay, I'm here." She felt something tug at her, something long and lost. She could hardly recognize it at first, the strange sensation. Like the blossoming happiness that occurs once you finally take the time to reconnect with an old friend. Like when the snow you've been praying for falls on Christmas, or better yet, keeps you from going to school. Or the slight euphoria from first warm day of spring that thaws your soul after a long hard winter, and though you knew the next day would be a rainy one, something about the moment was so pure that you couldn't bring yourself to mind.

Being there beside him, making it to the person she'd been fighting to get to, those feelings were on an entirely different level. There was a shift within her, for a split second she felt more in control than she'd been during her life as a doll. For the first time in forever, she smiled at him.

It was a small, soft smile, but it was the most beautiful thing Hei had ever seen. She seemed to glow brighter with the simple gesture, and Hei was amazed at how strong she'd become. To think that he along with everyone else had written her off as another emotionless doll. He found it ironic that the one member of his team he'd thought was the most disposable was now irreplaceable to him. This new smile of hers only further branded her mark on his soul. His hands began to tremble while his mouth opened and closed as he tried to find the words to describe how breathtaking she was. How could he possibly begin to tell her that the simple upward movement of her lips made him feel like a shooting star landed inside him and shattered his soul in the best way possible?

Soon enough any shred of composure he once had was wiped out. The floodgates were thrown open now, and the tears that had eluded him before poured out without remorse. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and wrapped his arms around her. She lightly draped her arms around him, and he had to remind himself not to squeeze too hard.

For the first time, he a was a bit ashamed of how vulnerable he was acting toward her. He hadn't cried in so long, it felt so foreign to him. All his emotions rushed out with his tears and something about it all just made him extremely uncomfortable. This was all still new for him, and the feelings were a bit too raw to handle. He didn't want her to see him like this, he didn't want anyone to see him like this. His anguish was so raw that he almost wanted to push her away, but the thought only made him want to pull her closer. Somehow, holding her like this was much better than curling into ball and hiding away.

"Yin I-I'm so sorry...!" He moaned into her throat. "I broke my promise, I failed you..."

"H-Hei?" She tried. "-okay..it's okay..."

He couldn't hear her, he couldn't even hear himself. He grew delirious, he had no idea what he was trying to convey at the moment. He was filled with regret for all the time they'd lost, and he felt guilty for leaving her all alone. But her reawakening gave him new sense ambition and euphoria. With all these energies flowing at once, he had no idea what to with himself. All he knew was that he needed to get something out, and she'd understand him no matter how rash and incomprehensible he was being.

"...a-and we can go to-to the beach like you like..."

She gave up trying convince him that all was fine. He wasn't listening to her and he definitely wasn't hearing himself. But she didn't mind, she liked the sound of his shaky desperate voice. It reeked of underlying elation. Besides, she could reassure him later, it was clear that he'd been repressing his feelings for some time now.

"I need you Yin...I need you..." She smiled at this.

"I need you too Hei," She ran her hand through his hair and felt his shaking shoulders come to a calm. His breathing slowed and he began to press sleepy kisses on her neck and along her collarbone. He slumped in his seat next to her and she too began to grow weak to alluring pull of sleep. She thought maybe she'd heard him say that he loved her before drifting away, but the memory was lost by the morning.


	4. Chapter 4

Hei awoke with his arms around her and his cheek resting against her collarbone, his head tucked lovingly beneath her chin. He briefly wondered if last night had merely been a dream, a figment of his imagination. But he wouldn't be holding her like this if it was. He tried to refrain from sleeping beside her because he knew he'd only get worked up if he did. And that only brought disappointment. Besides, if none of last night happened then She surely wouldn't be looking down at him with those big beautiful eyes. Wait-

"Ah- Yin!" He lifted himself up and grasped her shoulders lightly. "How do you feel? Are you hungry? Thirsty?" He felt foolish for not asking before when she'd first woken up. He started to remember all the things he _did_ say and he felt tinge of embarrassment. Still, he felt a huge weight off his shoulders after his slight breakdown. He'd never cried so fervently before, nor had he ever spouted such truth tinted nonsense before.

But she was awake and healthy, so that was more than enough to cheer him up. He thought back to her enchanting, nearly titillating smile last night. He felt a shiver race up and down his spine and he had to resist the urge to pull her against him and press his lips against her's.

He remembered all the kisses he placed on her neck and he wondered if she was okay with that. He hadn't meant to be so eager, but he was overcome with emotion at the moment. Seeing her recovering brought things out of him that he didn't know he still harbored. He had honestly tried to keep calm, but the instant she smiled at him he lost the power to suppress everything he held within. He hadn't realized he'd become such a mess inside until he finally let himself express it.

Her hand on his pulled him from his thoughts. "Hei," Her hand traced a path up his arm and came to rest on his cheek.

"I'm sorry if I scared you before, I think I freaked out a little." He smiled softly, placing his hand on top of her's.

"You could never scare me," She smiled lightly, still not used to it. "Hei, you feel better now don't you?" Hei nodded, smiling a bit brighter.

This was just what he needed, a moment of peace. Everything was perfect. The silence seemed so sweet. Now would've been the perfect time to tell her how he felt. But he didn't want to spring on her just yet. She'd just woken up from a coma, he needed to support her well being first.

* * *

Tension soon grew between them. Tension then warped into fear. The air grew thick with the fear that history would repeat itself. That they'd both be left lost and lonely. There were many times throughout their past where they found themselves without control of the situation. They knew this life too well not to expect something to go wrong.

They were both too fragile to take another hit, each clinging onto one another for life. The peaceful existence of each half depended on the other. They couldn't help but stress over their own hallucination of the end that seemed to be looming close.

Neither had a plan B. What would they have done had they lost everything? Who would they turn to? Could anyone else even measure up? No, they didn't have a plan B, they didn't want to need one. Still, anything could happen, and they weren't ready for anything. If something managed to separate them again, the only thing that would be left is a mental breakdown.

Yin hates it when they have to move on to the next place. Hei has to carry her on his back since she can't walk just yet. She has to pretend she's just tired of walking, but fine in other areas, otherwise people will get more aggressive in their suggestions to admit her to a hospital.

She hates how tired he is. She hates the extra mile he has to go to mask his exhaustion from others. From her. She wished he would let his guard down completely, he didn't need to hide anything from her. She wants to carry him too sometimes. She wants to relieve his pain too. It's not fair that he has to support not only himself but her as well. She wanted to help out, to repay him for all he's done. But there was nothing she could do in this state. If she thought leaving would help she would've considered it, but she still needed him in more ways than one, and he needed her just the same.

Little did she know that he hated moving around just the same. She always has the saddest look on her face just before he hoists her up onto his back. _'She must be so exhausted'_ He thinks to himself frequently. He hates that he's not able to make a home for her. A place where she can feel safe. So he tries to be stronger for her. He's willing to carry all the weight as long as she doesn't have to. So even if it means putting on an act for her, for everyone, he'll do it because it means being with her. So he'll take on her burdens, as long as their her's it's worth it, because nothing's harder than being without her.

* * *

For the first time in a long time, they had to face a rogue contractor. Compared to Hei, he wasn't all that strong. But the constant paranoia that the pair had put themselves through had put them at a disadvantage. Still Hei had the upperhand. Landing a swift kick to the intruder's skull, the contractor's head knocked against the wall and created a small hole.

Hei was sure the commotion would get them kicked out, and the damages wouldn't help either. He needed to wrap this up...

But the contractor wasn't done yet. Though dizzy and almost passing out from the critical blow to his head, he gave one last attempt at a fight. Pulling out a shuriken star, he ignited it with his power and throw it at Hei. Hei would've dodged had it not soared right past him.

In that moment, Hei heard Yin cry out in pain from behind him.

 _"Yin!"_ He turned to see the shuriken wedged into her shoulder. Her blood began to stain her clothes. Her other hand trembled as it hovered over the star. She wanted to grasp it in pain but that would only push it further into her flesh. It'd be better to pull it out but she didn't trust her hand to be steady enough to do the job. She continued to pant as small gasps of pain escaped her lips.

Though it could've been much worse, that slight scream terrified Hei. He'd heard numerous screams, especially the distinct shriek of death. But he'd never once heard her scream before. And maybe he was just exaggerating, but to him, her's was by far the worst out of all of them. He'd never heard anything sound so vulnerable, so pained in his entire life.

For second something in his mind shifted. He began to inflate the situation, which was something he'd only ever done once, for his sister. But for a moment it was as if the shuriken was placed a bit more to the center, as if the blood pouring from her wound was flowing directly from the heart that once pumped it. That scream was still echoing through his mind, and within their confines it sounded ten times louder, hundred times more pained, and a thousand times more terrified. As he turned back to their pursuer, it seemed as if his glowing red eyes were locked onto Yin, and held a thirst for her life.

At this point he was running on autopilot. He could do nothing as his body took control and started its assault on the contractor. Hei began to strike several times in a desperate attempt incapacitate any and all threats to Yin. His fist attacked him so brutally and so swiftly that had the assailant not already been seconds away from passing out earlier he still would've had no chance at defending himself.

Hei swung away in a desperate attempt to release all the pressure brought on by his growing fears. The thought of their separation and his insufficiency had been eating away at him for months. This intrusion had only led him to his breaking point. The delusions had of losing her had only put more strain on his psyche. He was getting paranoid and stressful, and his unfamiliarity with such feelings only made things harder on him.

Even then, it was her scream that had triggered something almost feral within him. Whatever had power over his self-control and level headedness had snapped, and his body moved erratically whilst his mind remained in a blacked out state. Hearing her express a pain in a way he'd never heard before took him by a surprise he wasn't ready for. Knowing she was hurt because he failed to defend her in time, it only accelerated his need to assault this contractor.

Yin tried desperately to call out to him but he couldn't hear her. She begged and pleaded for him to stop, knowing how much he'd regret this later. It was like she was on another plainfield, impossible to reach him. Right now Hei was seeing red, and Yin could do nothing but watch as the brutal assault continued. They were lucky another assailant hadn't shown up, Hei was far too unmoveable right now to multitask.

His mouth eventually grew bare of teeth and an eye was on the verge of being thrust out of its socket to the point where only the elastic muscle between it and the brain would be the sole thing keeping the eye attached. His nose twisted in awful unnatural ways. Most of his ribs were broken and a few of them had punctured his lungs. Blood decorated the walls and sheets of Hei's bed as well as his rapid fists. Though his body had been savagely butchered by the Black Reaper, he felt none of this. He'd been dead long before the destruction of his body.


	5. Chapter 5

At last the storm had past. Hei's heavy breathing moved his broad shoulders and Yin felt it safe to stop holding her own breath.

Looking down at his work, Hei started to understand the weight of what he'd done. As he looked down at his bloodied hands he felt every strike pulse through him again while the scene replayed in his mind. How could he have been so ruthless? So thoughtless? After that kick anything should've been able to take him out. He should've just let him fall asleep with his concussion and die with some semblance of peace.

He's never gone berserk like that before. Just looking at that mess of a body -if you can even call it that anymore- made him nauseous. He wanted to crumble down to the floor and cry out. To scream for hours, but the landlord was banging on his door, and there were brooms thumping against the floor beneath him. Looks like brutally murdering someone with your bare hands wasn't the quietest method of elimination.

Turning to Yin, he approached her, reaching for the shuriken in her shoulder.

"I- I'm gonna pull it out, okay?" Hei warned. She nodded and closed her eyes to brace herself.

He grasped the shuriken and pulled it out swiftly, tossing it to the side. She winced in pain for a moment, and Hei was glad she didn't scream again. He would have patched her up immediately, but there was no time. He could hear the landlord's keys turning the lock so he gathered her in his arms and reached for the first aid kit. They were out the window before their landlord could even take in the crime scene.

Before they could check into a hotel for the night he had to fix her up. They ended up doing it outside, and he hated himself for it. Was there really no place for them anywhere? He was sure they could do better than this.

* * *

They settled into their room quickly, but the tension of Hei's incident could not be forgotten. Hei was still horrified at what he was capable of. He was still scared of losing her, of her getting hurt because she was with him. And if this was how he would react to her getting hurt, then it would only make him less capable of protecting her.

"Hei," Yin offered.

He couldn't meet her eyes. He knew he'd been a killer, but he wasn't a maniac. He's never attacked anyone like that before, he still felt dirty. He didn't understand how she could bare to look at him, how she could actually want to comfort him after seeing what he'd done. He began to question how she could love a monster like him.

"Hei look at me..." She begged.

He turned away from her. "Yin, please don't..." No. He couldn't forgive himself for letting her see something like that.

Placing all her weight on her night table, Yin pulled herself out of bed. She took a long tentative step toward him. The distance between their beds was small, but to her the journey seemed to last forever.

He sensed someone over him and turned around. "Yin.." He muttered.

"I'll sleep here tonight." She said definitively.

He looked down. "Yi-" Yin pressed her finger to his lips, silencing him same way Kastinen had done when she was a child.

"-And you can't say no because I'm already here." She laughed lightly, and something about it was bright enough to get him to crack a smile too.

She slid under the covers and pressed her body close to his. She felt him hesitate before slipping an arm underneath her. She tucked her hand beneath his tank top and ran her delicate pianist fingers against his chiseled abs. He closed his eyes and relaxed into the feeling. She leaned up into the nape of his neck and pressed a soft kiss against his adam's apple. His lips parted in an act of desire for her's.

"I'm sorry." Hei sighed.

"What happened back there?" Yin asked gently.

"I don't know," He stared up at the ceiling. "I was fine until you got hit, but once I heard you scream I-" He grimaced, remembering the way her voice cut the air.

"It's okay, everything's fine now." She urged.

"I couldn't see anything clearly after that, for a second I thought you died..." He looked down in shame. Saying it out loud sounded foolish. Especially since the wound had been far from fatal.

"I'm always safe when I'm with you, Hei." Her hand slid up neck and into his hair.

"But you were hurt," Hei gently ran his fingers over the bandages on her shoulder. "-you still are aren't you?"

"That doesn't matter," She grabbed his hand and laced her fingers with his.

"If anything happens to you I..I don't know how I'll live with myself," Hei's expression crumpled into a saddened grimace. He felt like all his fears of losing her were confirmed. Like they were just moments away from the inevitable hell that always followed. What would he become once this was all over? How would he survive? Who would he turn to for undoubtable understanding and a safe place without judgement? Who would he count on to sneak into his bed uninvited and show him that was what he wanted all along? "Yin, if I...if we get separated again I-"

She pressed her finger to his lips again. "Don't say that." She clutched him tighter. "I don't want to lose you either Hei, I-I..."

He pulled her even closer, as if to usher the words out of her. "I get scared Hei," She nestled her head against his chest. "I'll go crazy if I have to be without you again."

"I'm sorry, Yin." His hand stroked her back up and down.

"Why?" She looked up at his mournful eyes.

"I wish I could make a place for you, for us..." He sighed. "Somewhere we could belong and feel safe, where we could be happy."

"You're all I need to feel safe, Hei. I belong with you, you make me happy." She reassured him.

"Yin..." His eyes searched hers for any hint of exaggeration. He let out a breathy sigh of happiness and relief when he found none.

"Look at you," Her hand reached up and cupped his face. "I've become such a burden to you..." She looked up at him in shame, she wondered how could ever need her by his side when he supported her so fully.

He looked down at her incredulously. "What do you mean? Yin, all I want is to be with you, no price is too great for that," He perched himself up on his elbow. "I mean, you just woke up from a coma, I don't blame you for needing my help."

Hei's eyes came to a close as he smiled in response to the one against his neck.


	6. Chapter 6

"Hei?" Yin murmured after a moment of silence.

"Hm?"

"Do you remember what I said to you, the first time Izanami was beginning to awaken? Before I said goodbye?" She asked almost shyly. She'd vaguely wondered from time to time what he thought about it. He never answered her, too fixated on saving her to lower his hopes for a goodbye. But often times she came to conclusion that he just didn't love her. She did her best to make herself okay with that, but some times were harder than others. It was the reason she became so frantic about his constant help. If he wasn't in love with her, then he didn't have much of a reason to take such good care of her.

Heat swelled in his cheeks as he avoided her gaze. _"I will always love you, Hei."_ Her voice rang in his bitter memory. Of course he remembered. He remembered just the way her voice sounded in that moment too. So thick with sadness, and awash with regret. For a moment her eyes searched for a way out of the situation, but she quickly found none and resigned to her fate. Yet at the same time, her voice spilled with sweetness of the love she felt, and it was desperate to reach him, for it could've been the last time it was able to do so.

"I-uh, yeah. I do." He wondered why she was bringing it up now. Maybe he'd waited too long. Maybe she'd given up. Hei waited for a chance to salvage the situation oblivious to the fact that no salvaging was needed.

"You know I still do right...?" She questioned, leaving no room for him to avoid the subject.

"Yin-I..." Hei began. "...you" He was surprised to find himself at a lost for words. He'd spent countless hours dwelling on the subject. Fretting over whether their relationship was ready for this. If she'd truly meant her confession or if it'd only been in the spur of the moment. Losing her, losing his chance, changed him. He wanted to tell her as soon as possible, but of course there was still work to do. He thought about how much he needed her, how much he wanted her to stay beside him. Of all the time he'd wasted when they were still on the run with his denial and constant paranoia.

But all in all he just spend his time with her. What had started out as simple support from one friend to another became something more. A great attachment formed, something Hei wasn't sure he'd ever have with another person again. For that he was more than grateful, and he knew she was grateful to him too.

Something about helping her, being with her, filled him with a sort of euphoria. Most importantly, she gave him a sense of belonging. He hadn't realized it until they decided to run away together, but that was what he'd been missing. Ever since he'd lost his sister that was what he'd truly been searching for. That was why he had such trouble accepting his loss. Without her there no place for him. Not without him submitting himself to the life of a mind slave. And deep down he knew there was still more to him than that.

But entering the void, getting to say goodbye to all the lives that he hadn't realized had become such a big part of him, it helped him realize that his sister wasn't gone, but with him. Desperate to find a place for himself, he resigned to the void, almost allowing it to swallow him completely. He saw nothing for himself out there, there was no future, no support. The best option would be to stay among those he knew and loved.

At least he thought so until he heard her call out to him. Her voice was pleading as she called out his name. _"Don't leave me all alone,"_ She'd cried. Her voice was thick with fear and worry. It was almost as if she were in danger. He'd never heard her sound like that, so he looked up toward the voice and tried to tread forward. He would've been surprised to find her spectre had formed a hand had he had time to think, but all could he do was reach out and grab it.

He decided that he needed to be with her. He was the only one who could truly understand her. He could read what she was feeling so precisely that it was almost as if they were his own emotions. Most people wouldn't understand her apathetic exterior, and he doubted she'd be tolerated in most long term relationships. But he knew she deserved better than that, she shouldn't be left alone just because the rest of the world was too blind to see who she really was. Maybe there would come a time where contractors and dolls are accepted into society, but the world still had a long way to go before then.

She was someone he cared about, and she needed him. So he had to return to her, and though he tried to sacrifice it for rationality he still had the desire to help people. So he stood by her. He protected her. And before he knew it, he realized that he couldn't imagine his life without her.

Her voice pulled him from his thoughts. "Hei?...It's okay, I understand if you-"

"No, that's not it." He took a breath before continuing. "Yin, you know I've never wanted you to be alone. I've always wanted to be there for you...with you, because I care. Even if there's been times when I shut you out, when I treated you like a doll, I care now and that's all that matters." The words seemed to flow from him now, and he was glad that the temporary censorship that held his mind didn't last long enough for her to convince herself that he didn't love her.

"Running away with you, made me realize that I still had a place in this world. That I still had someone to protect. I couldn't imagine life without you until I lived it, and it was hell. I belong here with you, and I think we should stay together. Even if it hurts we can still try. I don't want to be afraid anymore Yin, all I want is you." He squeezed her to himself. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I-"

His short speech was interrupted by her lips on his as she leaned up for chaste kiss. He felt himself begin to melt into the kiss and the soft meld of her body. They pressed closer to one another as heat grew within them. He felt all her desperation and guilt conveyed to him through her soft plump lips, and he in turn pushed out all fears and paranoia and left her in charge of diminishing them. They were surprised at how relieved they felt once they let go of their insecurities and placed them in the hands of someone they knew they could trust like no other.

Yin felt Hei's tongue prodding against her lips and opened her to let him explore the wet cavern of her mouth. Yin's hands returned to their place under his shirt as she felt up and down his back and chest. Hei found himself kissing her more desperately as he felt her fingers caress him with such soft roughness. It was almost as though he were one of the pianos she loved so much. He belonged to her now, she would play him with the same kind of delicacy.

Moans began to decorate the air as their kiss grew more intense. They fully immersed themselves in the moment, appreciating far more than they ever could have in the past due to their time lost. This passion was so unfamiliar, so foreign, that the two clung to each other in fear that it might be lost.

Their love had made them vulnerable. It spurred on a paranoia that almost seemed to last forever. Insecurities grew between them and added to the heavy load they were already forced to carry. But once they pushed past all the fear and uncertainty, they were able to embrace each other. They opened their eyes to find that the security they needed was from each other. The safest place they could find was in their arms, and it was more secure than anything they'd ever known. Though their love had made them vulnerable, when embraced in a different manner, it granted them a power that nothing within the gate could ever hope to give.


End file.
